So I had a fantastic August. I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but somehow I managed to earn the most ever in a month. And this was despite being out of the country for half of the month, so I was happy. Doubly so, because September is always good, it is my constant in a whirl of chaos, and so I was feeling confident, excited and invigorated. Of course, this has quickly come crashing down as September has been slow, a trickle instead of the usual downpour and looks set to be a thoroughly average month. If August was the first, glorious date with the guy of my dreams, then September was the second one where the cracks carefully hidden on date one started showing #storyofmylife although one better kept in my personal blog. Anyway I digress.
In my freelance business, as in life, I place honesty as a premium. If it’s quiet I say so. If I’m wrong I admit….Well, I think you get the drift. However, often at networking groups or in life individuals don’t like admitting that they are actually having a slow period so here are the five most bullshit sayings that actually means time they are a slow.
- I’m working on my business plan
I’m sorry. Are you doing your business GSCE? Oh I know I shouldn’t admit it. I should carefully articulate how important business plans are to my business and how each year nay each quarter. I sit down and think about my future projections, hopes and dreams. Do me a favour. Business plans are for large corporates with shareholders to please or start-ups looking for funding. No sole trader needs a business plan. What you’re actually doing is watching Jeremy Kyle in your pyjamas in the foetal position slightly screaming “where the fuck can I find clients?”
- I’m so busy….it’s just brilliant….so, so busy.
In life, as in business, the more someone is lying the more they feel the need to lay it on thick. Individuals will throw everything at their lie if they think it will work…adding enthusiasm, big grins and a show tune if they think it will help. It won’t. Trust me on this. If they sound like they’re trying out to audition in Glee, as mentioned above, they are undoubtedly watching Jeremy Kyle in their pyjamas.
- Reading business books
Again see point one. Not that there’s anything intrinsically wrong with reading a business book (although I personally recommended some good ol’ fiction like Murakumi or Kundera), but if that’s all they have to say, the book is sat turned over on the coffee table whilst they watch….yep you guessed it, Jeremy Kyle.
And to be frank this isn’t just limited to our professional lives, but also to our personal calendar. I’m not sure when this happened but for some reason sitting at home in your pyjamas watching Netflix on a Saturday night is not really appropriate to admit, instead a millennial such as myself should be busy finding some form of food product (ideally) avocado shaped to upload into Instagram. Although, I do digress somewhat from the point of this article.
What makes me sad…I guess is that people feel the need to pretend to be busy all the god damn time. Listen ,as a freelancer there are lulls and that is totally normal. Obviously if these are continuous and unending then you probably start to panic, but in general, let’s cut away the artifice. Let’s stop the pretence. Let’s own our lulls; listen I’m quiet so I spent the day working on my Hebrew/sending my book to publishers/watching Dinner Date.
Of course, if you do fancy hiring me to write some content I am sat seriously at my desk and can be contacted on 0208 629 6465 or 07826 857 882 or drop me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org